l mentioned in my last blog a missing photo album that detailed John, Andy and myself and our twenty year contribution to the community , the rediscovery and record of this past history by the present community would in itself be a big step towards a truthful and honest reconciliation. Upon hearing that the community had in fact put up a revised web site l excitedly set about reading it only to discover that our three line mention hardly represents a move in the right direction, disappointment engulfed me.

I gave twenty years of my life founding and establishing the community, during which time I raised 4 kids, offered hospitality to all kinds of folk, and shared in the hardships and difficulties that preceded the birth of the community and its early nurturing. The reason I am a founder of the community is not just because I was there at the beginning, it is because I shared in the conception, the carrying, the birthing , the nurturing of the Community. It is a great joy for me, that the Lord trusted John, Andy and I with such a responsibility.

Now I am used to the fact there is a ‘missing album’ and I don’t plan to reflect here why that is the case, nor wonder why other folk from the early days have not tried to find out where it went or question its loss!  Perhaps it will be found soon, in an attic or an old bookcase, behind a chair or under a bed….or in a carefully locked cupboard?

When we first started northumbriacommunity.com it was our way of trying to get back some of the items lost with the missing album. We appealed for photos, stories, old tapes, video’s anything that could tell the story of the early years. Sad to say, back then there was little response. We were delighted when the community announced it would create its own archive, and full believed the items in the ‘missing album’ could be retrieved. We took our site offline and waited expectantly….nothing turned up.

So, we came back on line, and this time many of the lost items have been recovered, and it is now only a matter of time and money that will dictate how soon they are put on the site. The Lord has promised to give me my history back, so I am confident the story will be told and together many will celebrate the great things the Lord did when He called us to community.

¹⁹ On the tenth day of the first month the people went up from the Jordan and camped at Gilgal on the eastern border of Jericho. ²⁰ And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. ²¹ He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ²² tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³ For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea ^[b] when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. ²⁴ He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”

One of the main challenges for us, throughout our journey was getting back in touch with our history from which we were disconnected:  Our Northumbrian history steeped in the life of the early Celtic saints and communities, our monastic history and its influence on European society, and the deeper roots of our history, in the early church, in particular St. John, Mother Mary and the Community of Jesus. John, Andy and I did our very best to ensure that whatever God  was building in our lives, was founded and intertwined  on this bedrock of memories of which we were to be both a reminder and ongoing people in the story.

We first started www.northumbriacommunity.com in 2002. Our intention was to create an archive of material that documented the beginnings of the community and make a record of the people, places and events who were part of it all, past and present.

‘What are you doing writing the history of the community!?’

One of the main problems with recording the foundation of the community is the confusion, misunderstanding,  that exists as to when everything began. While the Northumbria Community was given a legal identity in 1993  which marked the covenant relationship between the Nethersprings represented by John Skinner,  and Northumbria Ministries represented by Roy Searle, the actual foundations go much further back.

The Community was founded and established on ‘a way for living’ developed in the hearts and minds of  Andy Raine , John and myself  over a period of 14 years beginning in 1978. These were years of hardships and testing, and it was in that context, in those ‘hidden years’ the way for living on which the Northumbria Community is founded was forged. Chris and Sandra Haggerstone, Brenda Grace,  the Aycliffe Folk, Easter Workshop Folk, Trevor and Freda Miller were some of our supportive companions in those early and difficult years.

Memory is the only thing we hold onto in order to tell our past not only to ourselves but to others when they want to know “who we are” and “where we have come from.”  Last year this was keenly demonstrated to me when we “lost” the family photo albums belonging to the kids.

Over the years I had put together an album for Jayne, Sara, Sadie and Ben with baby photos, toddler shots, school years….and times with family and friends. When you move around to so many homes and places as we did it’s vital to have accurate recorded memories.

So you can imagine the sense of devastation we all felt when discovering they were lost. I think it was particularly acute as we all live in different physical locations and our memories are what bound us together as family…we shared the same history.

John and l felt this was definitely one situation too painful to contemplate as the albums represented so much joy for us and hope and almost felt like legacies for the kids…we prayed in earnest for their recovery. What had been hard was watching the shock on the faces of the kids and the silent moments on the phone.

Thankfully they were discovered amongst storage in an attic! I can’t tell you the relief we felt and a few tears flowed! I often think if we had a fire what would l want to try and save besides my family and animals?  Photos come to mind.

Talking of photos takes me quickly back to John and I returning to visit to Hetton Hall in November 2009 after an eleven year absence., I like looking at photos so I was naturally drawn to the notice board in the dining room and had a fun time scanning the different faces of the past and present community, recognising a few.

What was amazing was that there wasn’t one photo of John and I…………..!?

I think there must be a lost album somewhere!

I certainly would not have agreed to come back to Northumbria  if I thought it was just going to be a walk down memory lane. John and I had managed  to rebuild our lives and moved on in the purposes of God after our traumatic departure and ongoing exile from the community. We had made the inward journey through our bitterness, desolation and despair, and had woken on another shore ! Thanks to the love and faithfulness of God we had arrived in Ephesus, as the Lord had promised, with our ongoing vision still within our hearts, the Celtic Arc!

However, I knew it was important for Andy, John and I to record the hidden years on which the Northumbria Community was founded and established. All I was thinking: get the job done and head back to our adopted home!

I hadn’t been on the Island very long when I sensed God may have another purpose for bringing us all together here again. We all seemed to be looking out on the same horizons, and even when we were looking backwards and telling the story we were very much on the same page.

The first video with myself, John and Andy took place at the very same spot, opposite Cuthbert’s Island where some  ten years earlier I had  stood alone, saying goodbye. The video was unscripted, and we just said what was on our hearts. Afterwards it felt right, God was up to something and I wanted to go with it.

Most of our visit to Northumberland was spent on Holy Island. If we were not talking with or enjoying Anna and Andy’s hospitality then one or both of us were out and about on the Island. John spent many hours talking with Andy and recording video’s while Anna and I would go off walking or visiting people and places.

We had received a warm welcome from Andy, Anna, Joel and Martha and after many hours talking it was easy to see that God had been working in a similar way with Anna as He was with me and her vision was not only local but international. I could identify with the isolation and hardships that were part of her daily circumstances, and admired her ability to press on when times were  hard,  as well as the joy of hearing of the new opportunities  God had opened up for her in ministry.

Talking with Anna I recognised a similar calling to the desert, the aloneness, the call to pray and the hardships and joys that go with the territory.

Walking the Island, it was impossible not to be overcome with lots of memories. The most prominent in my mind  were the photographs of the first  Easter workshops  with the Alnwick folk all gathered round the village green,  sitting on the benches, waiting for the rest of the Easter folk to arrive: Keith and Nicola, Rob and Geraldine, Ronnie, Ebbs,  Kirsten , Sheila and Alan, Chris and Sandra, Brenda and the list goes on……!  These were very special times for all of us, especially the kids (there were lots of them!) who just loved Holy Island and Easter Workshops,

Being close to Cuthbert’s island reminded me of the Easter baptisms that took place, including two of my own kids Sadie and Ben, boy those were cold waters!  I think Sarah and Robert Haggerstone were baptised at the same time, and whisky was on hand for John and Andy afterwards to overcome the icy cold water and chilling winds.

Images of Kev and his coracles came flooding back, as he launched these tiny vulnerable boats into the waters encouraging folk to take a turn getting in them!  There were a  few rescue moments as the current decided to take several people further than they had wanted to go…….a prophetic moment in the making!

Another memory was of Ken and Norma , Pat , Brenda , Alan , Andy , Jayne , Sara , Sadie and Ben, John and I and others on Cuthbert’s island freezing to death dancing at the foot of the cross yet loving every minute of it!  And more serious times, as we prayed and danced in the Priory pushing back the darkness for another year.

As the years passed by, more faces were added to the memories, and people from all over the country made it there business to be with us at Easter.

One painful memory was standing on the edge of the rock close by Cuthbert’s island where we had committed Chris Coulter’s ashes into the sea and into the hands of His Father! It’s hard to believe even now that we lost Chris so young, and yet he had grasped so much internally and represented so much of what we were about.  He was actually on his way to an Easter Workshop when he had his fatal accident. Easter passed very solemnly for those of us who knew and loved Chris.

We visited St. Mary’s Church, and it was fantastic to see the sculpture of Cuthbert’s Coffin being carried by his monks: what an amazing piece of art. I felt the oneness again between the communities past and present, a sense of peace and continuity.

We were able to say a quick hello to Mark and Mary who have an amazing place and partnership expressing a way for living and much more in Mary’s art work. Again it evoked memories of Easter workshop when Mark and Neil would do combat with sticks and swords, and flirt with the young ladies, Mary included!!

It was captivating walking into Andy’s Hut at the back of the house where all the walls are covered in pictures and posters of memories, so many of them we recognised or shared, so many good and cherished times.

Our coracle took us down another more ancient path, to Ephesus and the community of the Beloved John and Mother Mary. Yet our beginnings are here, Uppersprings and Nethersprings, and it became clear in the days ahead that God had brought us home and back with Andy for a specific purpose, one which we just never anticipated or expected.

How do l feel leaving Hetton Hall…….?

Mixed feelings……sad to see the end of a chapter, but remembering John’s prophecy a few years ago that the House would close, a Diaspora begin and the focus would be on the spirituality of the Uppersprings, I was also excited that this new chapter had begun.

Hetton Hall was the second place of the Nethersprings the first being the Grange at Whittingham Glanton where we lived for five years.

On refection l realised that leaving Hetton Hall was not leaving the Nethersprings which is a specific geographical location in North Northumberland. However I was leaving a house that was once home to me, John and the kids for seven years, as well as being the Mother House to the community. It has a special significance.

Seeking the Nethersprings had begun many years prior when Chris and Sandra Haggerstone, John and l sat down with our Northumbria Map and tried to locate this special place. The Franciscan Friary at Alnmouth became a definite point, Holy Island another and Shepherd’s Law where Harold the hermit lived became the third point thus creating a triangle. We knew that the place of the Nethersprings was contained within or very near those catchments area below Holy Island.

This being the case, we began our journeys up to North Northumberland, pooling our family allowance money for petrol and  packing the kids our four, and Chris and Sandra’s three into the cars. The voyage of discovery began.

Many disappointments followed as we earnestly sought the place we would call home and the place of the Nethersprings. We had no resources nothing to commend ourselves we were totally dependant on the Lord.

Holy Island we knew with certainty was the Uppersprings. (We adopted these metaphors from Joshua Chap 15.19, where Achsah   asks of her father Caleb to give her water for this “| Dry Land|”” …..and he gave her the Upper and Lower Springs.)

The Uppersprings we also knew was the outward flowing, bubbling dynamism of the Spirit, whereas the Nethersprings ethos was the deep well, the quiet place of the desert, a seeking of God afresh.

After many months God graciously released the first place of the Nethersprings; The Grange , Whittingham Glanton.

This came about quite amazingly.

l had a word from God while living still in  Newton Aycliffe that God  had got us a house. John thought I had  lost the plot. Up until now  our trips had not produced anything we could see. At the same time a friend of ours from Theological College John Ferguson got in touch. An unexpected meeting with Norma Wise at Alnmouth Friary had  prompted him to ask where we were and what we were doing. He actually wanted some advice from us and at the end of a visit to his home he asked if there was there anything he could help us with ?  At this point  John said yes please a home in this area!  A few days later, Chris and Sandra found a house, with a job, near Glanton. A few weeks later John Ferguson, true ti his word,  found us a house, near Glanton!

The Grange was a beautiful old stone house with strong walls but the  inside was badly neglected.

The Lord gave me a word ‘ ….the people l send you  will be like this house with strong walls but inside will need major work……’ So began a passage of people coming on retreat or just to talk….but again just like Ravensdowne God provided the place and the people and gave us the energy and grace to live this life with the full responsibilities of four growing children.  Andy was also living with us full time until he could establish himself back on Holy Island.

At this point of the journey many of the prayers that went into  Celtic Daily Prayer were being used. An example  ‘Establish thou the works of our hands “…came directly out of the gardening work and widow cleaning that John and Chris did to support our way of living and to put  bread on the table.

I remember putting the prayer (from Brother Sun and Sister Moon) on my kitchen cupboard;

If you want your dream to be

build it slow and surely.small beginnings, greater ends

heartfelt work grows purely.

This was an ongoing encouragement as many days felt long and hard  physically , emotionally, and spiritually when all the demands of running the home and caring for folk  going through an emotional or spiritual crisis. John was often working through the day either window cleaning or gardening then counselling someone well into the early hours, then work the next day. Hard choices when you need to spend time with someone and work is waiting!

Availability and vulnerability were learned and lived long before they were written into the Community Rule

Our other support at this time came in the form of the Aycliffe folk. Ken and Norma Wise, Bill and Theo Clementson , Dave and Sandra Sayers, Arthur and Pat Guy who prayed regularly,  brought us food supplies and clothes (fashionable I might add! ) and financial gifts.

Brenda Grace was a regular visitor either staying with us at the Grange or with Chris and Sandra on the hill. She was seeking to come North and be part of what God was doing among us. It was during this time that we sent out some information about the Upper and Nethersprings to some friends including,  Roy and  Shirley Searle, folk we had met at Bible College.  They  responded quickly inviting John and Andy  to a meeting on Holy Island with their group called Northumbria Ministries. They were very excited by what John and Andy had to share and felt keenly drawn to what we were about. They would join us several months later.

Freda and Trevor ( John’s sister and brother in law ) were also very much part of  our support network of folk ….and were especially instrumental when the Board of Trustees was established to deal with the issues of growing a God given work.

Because the work was growing  we and the Trustees  felt a new house should be found. We did a bit of scouting on our own and  had our hearts set on a farm  close by.  The Trustees were not so keen and because we were now inwardly moving from the Founders to the Few we had to bend and let the farm go.

At this point we were also under tremendous pressure financially. We had  been giving more time to people than work. With no money coming it was difficult to make ends meet.  The electricity  was cut off, our phone was disconnected, the rent needed paid, and people were still coming. Worn out emotionally and spiritually we asked God for a breakthrough. We got a note from Trevor saying a lady he knew had heard about our work and wanted to give us some money. John went to the phone box to ring her, and told her he was happy to meet and talk with her without her giving any money. She explained that she was not a Christian but was pleased to hear of our work supporting people in crisis. After convincing himself she was sincere and not just vulnerable, John agreed to the financial gift. Just before he went off the phone she asked if we would like to know how much money she wanted to give us?

Twenty Four Thousand Pounds!!

The Lord, as usual proved faithful through the giving of some dear person. We gave the cash to the new Trust to get the next chapter of the journey started.

Shortly afterwards we got a phone call from a Lord Vincent offering us Hetton Hall. We thought the call was a practical joke and it took a while to convince us otherwise. The Trustees made a trip to see the property and fell in love. Sue in tears said this is a place to cry out to God!

We trusted their discernment, thus moving from the Founders to the Few and now getting ready for the Many. It had taken us 14 years to get this far.

Thus began another chapter in our lives and a new chapter for the Northumbria Community.

Returning to Hetton …..After ten years …..…..long time…! Before coming back to Hetton my memories were moving in my heart and head like little whirlwinds.

So many familiar faces, so many relived conversations and dance moments…..all good, all cherished times. Easter Workshop was by far the most exciting time on the calendar, couldn’t wait to just see folk, be together; laughed lots , teased lots and thought this must be a taste of heaven. The weather was not always agreeable especially on the Island, but that didn’t matter, being there did…!

In that environment when folk were just themselves came some of the most amazing times. The Sunday night concert was a truly a magic time when leaders would be sent up, the monastic way would be joked about, and the youngest to the oldest took part. It was the perfect end to a deep time of fellowship. There obviously were times of tears especially around Maundy Thursday our foot washing ritual, but these were always accompanied or followed by laughter and joy. It was those times which made the very demanding and hard early pioneering years worthwhile.

Returning to the Hall this time evoked many good memories and some sad memories.

Our beloved Labradors, and the many walks we enjoyed with them in the garden and surrounding fields. l was busy looking for the Box the little black Poustinia l used to take refuge in on a regular basis. I went to sort my anger out due to tensions in relationships…..boy the joy of being human….! Or shed tears over some unkind comment that l needed  to say sorry for or challenge……the joys of living together and being around so many folk ……crazy part being l wouldn’t change any of it……this was life in all it’s shades……true Community is a Gift of God.

When we joined folk for Midday-Office and I closed my eyes to pray, so many more memories came flooding back. I could see familiar faces, hear the welcome voices of those who had joined with us across the years to say Office. I thought of Andy and John squabbling and joking together as they edited the Office Book, every prayer a memory stone. I thought of Paul and the gang building the very Chapel we were sitting in; Chris and Fred renovating the Stable Block so we had a place to live as a family, Kevin and Joe creating and thatching the Chapel of the Incarnation.

Later, we visited the prayer garden and I remembered Shirley at work busy with her bees.  It was in this garden that Ant and Clare shared with us The Brendan Voyage. It left me gob smacked.

We had only got settled at Hetton and this was a definite call to step out again into the unknown. God’s Presence was overwhelming and when John stood up and asked folk to respond to this call to the next part of the journey I joined him…..with only a handful of others….and here we are in Turkey where our coracle brought us through some stormy seas.

Suddenly, Ellen Niven came rushing into the garden excited to see us after so long and it all felt like yesterday chatting away like in times past.

From the outside Hetton Hall looked tired and forlorn, and the gardens lacked the vibrancy of times past. This old friend needs a new chapter as much as the Community.

Inside we met Brenda… with whom we share so many precious memories which go all the way back to the pioneering years in Aycliffe, the Grange and at Hetton.

Moving into the kitchen we met Pete and Catherine , they weren’t sure how to respond to us or our visit….this is the new generation of community and I felt so sad that the events of ’98 have cast such a long shadow.

Andy worked in the background as usual doing something with his hands and jumping in with some past memory or important bit of news.

Remembered Ferg when he was the cook, either laughing or getting stressed at what was happening or not happening in the kitchen, I can relate to that completely….cooking and l have our moments.

Remember Roy appearing always dressed for the occasion and ready for the off….Freda would come through always active and responsible…with an occasional blast of laughter. Trevor we always had to seek out as he nestled himself down behind his desk with countless things to address.

Sandra. What a rock. Someone who always made carrying burdens look easy!

Memories of the Aycliffe mob appearing in group formation, bringing lots of goodies….clothes….food….. AND best of all lots of prayer!

The list goes on…..

We didn’t get chance to go into the stable block where we once lived as a family. I was glad not wanting to relive the painful memories of our last weeks at Hetton Hall. The memory l wanted to keep was that of the Stable block, empty, full of hope, anticipating new life, and Ant and Clare dancing Revelation, and praying Gods blessing on the place….another magic moment.

We are fortunate to have the cooperation of the founders of the community who are our primary source and without whom this site could not have been published.

It is the founders that have contributed to an overall picture of how the community began and what was intended in the way of living they developed and expressed in the Rule and the Daily Office.

We have also collected a substantial amount of information that is relevant to our subject. Please be patient as we have so many items to upload to the site. It also makes a regular visit worth while. These sources speak for themselves and are a window from which to view the foundation of the community.